You Can't Unbake A Cake: The Consequences of Sin
Here's the scenario. You have John and Amy who have been together for several years. John is separated from his wife, Samantha, and Amy has never been married. Amy has a young daughter with her ex-boyfriend. They're both nonbelievers who have been living together. Then one day they both, by the grace of God, give their lives to the Lord.
Now, here's where things get sticky. John is still legally married to Samantha. Does he try to reconcile with her? After all, scripture is very clear that you are one flesh with the person to whom you are married. God recognizes, blesses, and founded the marriage institution. Scripture is also very clear that you are to try to work it out with your spouse at all costs, and even if they are a nonbeliever, you are in Christ and you are to stay with them unless they refuse to live with you (1 Corinthians 7:12-15).
So what if John does go try to rebuild his marriage with Samantha? Our hearts seem to tell us, oh but that's so unfair! He loves Amy! What about Amy's daughter? What will they do if John leaves them to go back to Samantha? They obviously got separated for a reason, aren't he and Samantha meant to call it quits and he and Amy meant to be together? It's as if we're watching a movie and John and Amy are the protagonists. We can't let Samantha "win".
Let's now say that John is the sole means of income for he and Amy and Amy's daughter (who might as well be his daughter too, as he loves her as his own). If he returns to Samantha, Amy and her daughter will come across extreme financial hardship. Their lives may be, in a very real sense, ruined. Okay, let's take it one final step further in case you're not mad at me yet. Amy is pregnant with John's child. Surely God desires he finalize the divorce with Samantha and marry Amy? It doesn't seem like going back to Samantha is right. We ask, why God? Why can't you just be okay with John and Amy as a couple? Why can't they get married, wouldn't that be the best thing to do? Why, God? This doesn't seem fair.
Situations like this are a lot more common than you think. In fact, you may be the John in this story, or the Amy, or their pastor. People are getting saved and then looking at their three children with three different partners and unsure which way God would have them go. And most of the time the Bible gives us a clear answer, but we don't like it. There seems to be heartache no matter which direction we go. But be sure, situations like this are only getting more common and more complicated. We now have same-sex marriage, transgender issues, multiple divorces and remarriages, and children in the mix as well. Don't be surprised if one day you meet a man who has had an operation to become a woman and now he's a Christian, asking you what God wants him to do about his marriage with his husband.
The point of the story is this. You can't unbake a cake. Our sin, although forgiven, still has consequences. No matter how much you want to, you cannot reach in a baked cake and pull out the eggs, the sugar, the butter, and start over. It's impossible. It's the same with our sin. It shapes our lives and our future. The choices we make today affect us twenty years down the road. Thank God, for every person that believes in Christ, like the song goes: our sin, not in part but the whole, was nailed to the cross and we truly bare it no more. But it's still a baked cake.
Let's go back to John and Amy's case. God created marriage to be for life, with sexual relations not happening outside the marriage bed. Had John and Samantha loved and obeyed God, they would've stayed together and he never would've become romantic with Amy. Amy's child from her ex-boyfriend was also the product of her sexual relations outside of marriage, and this new child with John was produced likewise.But the Bible is clear, John needs to try to work things out with his wife, Samantha. Of course he will have to go about things wisely and the church can help advise and counsel John and Amy, but it's going to be a very hard road ahead no matter how you slice it. But it's not that God is mean. It's that our sin gets us in a mess.
The Bible is very clear that our rebellion is what got us here. God has given us a simple and true way and we have said, "No! I know better!" and our chaotic lives reflect that. Sin is horrible, ugly, and it complicates things. Thankfully, we are forgiven completely and will stand before Him on judgment day as blameless and righteous. The murderer can be made clean, but Jesus isn't going to get him out of prison. The prostitute can be made righteous, but that will not make her a virgin again. Until we get to heaven, we are still residing in this fallen world (that we caused) and we have to deal with the consequences of our actions prayerfully, carefully, and with wisdom from the Word of God.
God is hard-core. He does not desire us to weasel out of situations that are hard, but to face them as they are and walk down the biblical road. Yes it is going to make some situations like John and Amy's really difficult. But it's also going to make John and Amy holy. They will know and love Christ more, and God's sovereignty always comes out triumphant. After all, we can rest on this truth: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). Hard situations do not mean that God is mad at us. It means he is teaching us and has great things for us. God has never been in the business of cutting corners and doing sloppy jobs. He sometimes allows our sin to take us down hard roads, but coming out knowing Christ more is so worth it.
