Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids With the Love of Jesus
-Why does God want us to have children? Is it because they're fun and cute? Well, they definitely are those things, but God's main purpose is stated in Malachi 2:15: "Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring." God wants worshipers! He wants "godly offspring." One of the first things God told Adam and Eve was to be "fruitful and multiply", and he told the same thing to Noah and his family when they stepped off the arc. God desires more people so that they know him and love him.
-Our parenting should be different than the world's. This includes both secular parenting and other religious parenting. Unlike Mormons, we don't want to teach our children that yes, Jesus died on the cross, but their good works are still needed to compensate what Christ's death didn't do. We believe that Christ supplied all righteousness. And unlike atheists, we can offer parenting that alludes to an outside, objective authority. We don't believe our children are products of cosmic collisions in a godless universe, but that they were created with intimate care, in the image of the giver of Life. The Gospel is beautiful, and we should not water it down to giving our children rules to keep. Our parenting should be deeply rooted in the Gospel: that rules cannot save us, only a person can.
-Rules are needed in day-to-day life. There are four main types. 1)Initial obedience. Safety of our children ("Don't run in the road or you'll get a spanking!"). These are needed to keep our children alive and unharmed. 2) Social obedience. It is important we teach our children to chew with their mouth closed, say, "Please" and "Thank you", and to do other things that are socially acceptable so that they will be able to function in society. 3) Civil obedience. They need to learn the laws of the land such as obeying the speed limit. This ensures not only their safety but the safety of others. 4) Religious obedience. Closing our eyes during prayer, standing up in church to sing, etc are all practices of the faith but are not necessarily the fruit of saving faith. Outward obedience does not mean inward change.
-Siblings may come from the exact same set of parents and be brought up nearly identical, yet their personalities can be as different as night and day. There are usually two types of personalities: The Pharisee and the Rebel. Of course, we shouldn't be quick to shove our children into one of these overly simplistic categories, but it is good to recognize our children's mentality and what types of sin they struggle with.
The Pharisee is the rule keeper. This is actually the type of child that is easiest for a parent to have, and prides themselves in: the obedient child. The Pharisee seems very good! They keep rules and are quick to say what mom and dad want to hear. They pride themselves in their righteousness and tend to look down on others who do not keep the rules as well as they do. However, this is usually the most "dangerous" type of personality. As the book points out, it was the self-righteous Pharisees who crucified Christ, not the prostitutes. It's good to remind this child that the Bible says that no one is good, not even one, and we are all under condemnation without the righteousness of Christ on our behalf.
Secondly, the Rebel (or "younger brother" in the Prodigal Son parable) is quick to break rules, question authority, back talk, and go his/her own way. This child can be the hardest to parent because they don't obey, outwardly or inwardly. It is exhausting to constantly reinforce rules and demand respect from them. However, when parenting this type of child, keep in mind that they know they are rebellious, and they need to know that God doesn't just want them to keep rules. God wants them to love him, and his grace extends to even the vilest of sinners.
Lastly, ask your children for forgiveness when you sin against them. If you never admit your sins and mistakes, how can you expect them to? If they can see humility lived out in your life, and see that you are not perfect but that you are in trusting in the one person who is--Jesus Christ--this will let them see the reality of the Gospel in your life. You really do believe what you say you do, and Christianity is not some compartmentalized aspect of your life that goes into sleep mode when church is done on Sundays.
Be blessed today!
