Your Heart Was Not Made For A Boy. It Was Made For Jesus
It is not at all uncommon these days for women my age to find themselves in one or more of the following scenarios: we are already divorced and perhaps remarried, have several children with different (and usually absent) fathers, we have been involved in an affair, or we are engaged for the second or so time. We are broken, hurt, and confused. We're seeking that perfect relationship with the right person. Some of us have come to the conclusion that since it never works out with men, we should begin to date women. After all, men have continually and habitually hurt us. How did we end up here?
We never foresaw ourselves in these situations. As little girls, we probably dreamed of finding that perfect guy, finding that beautiful wedding gown, walking down the aisle, and riding off into the sunset to begin our fairytale lifestyle. The desire of a woman's heart and longing is to be loved and cherished. We want our Prince Charmings! Our Ryan Goslings! We have fallen for a seemingly nice guy time after time, only to be left lonely, broken and confused--and perhaps with a child or two-- a short time later, left to pick up the pieces and move on.This is not what we envisioned for ourselves or for our children, but yet here we are. How do we know the next relationship is going to work out? Many of us have given up. Our self-esteem is shot, our hearts are hurting, and our children are feeling the effects as well. Many children are growing up without their fathers, and statistics have proven that this makes a child more likely to abuse drugs, drop out of school, and participate in self-destructive behavior.
We all look at Nicolas Sparks' "The Notebook" as the epitome of a romantic relationship. Noah and Allie were just meant for each other, it seems. I admit, I'm a sucker for a chick flick! But let's stop and analyze this for a second. Noah and Allie made several unwise decisions. Not only did they sleep together before they were married, but Noah has several sexual partners before being reunited with Allie. Once they do reunite a few years down the road, they almost immediately sleep together. Noah ends up hurting the girl he was most recently seeing, and Allie ends up cheating on her unknowing (and seemingly nice!) fiancee with Noah. Instead of having the decency to break it off with her fiancee first, she just goes and sleeps with her old boyfriend. What about the hurt that Allie and Noah caused to those two people? Not once do they seek God's will for their lives. Doesn't seem quite as romantic when looked at that way, huh?
Today's culture tells you that that is not only okay, but it is ideal. But it is that same type of behavior that destroys families. The media and todays' American culture tells you that you will find fulfillment in your romantic relationships. Sadly, this mindset is what has led to the outrageous divorce rate, heightened extramarital affairs, and sexual promiscuity. We are told that when we meet someone we like, we need to "try them on for size." We need to live with them first, give ourselves to them in bed, and if we find ourselves unhappy, then we are to leave. This message is taught to both men and women. When we are the ones deciding to leave a relationship, we feel liberated, free, and in control. But when we are the ones being left....it doesn't feel quite so good. We are hurt. Confused. Lonely. Broken. And off we go to search for the next temporary relationship to give us satisfaction. How do we stop this cycle? Will we ever find "the one"?
The answer, quite simply, is no. You will never find "the one" for whom your soul was made, because it is not for a boy. And it's not for a girl. You were made for God.
You will never find true acceptance, true love, or true self worth in any person--including even yourself--because you were made by God and for God.
" For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him." -Colossians 1:16
God made us all in his image, and has a purpose for our life. What is that purpose? To know him. To love him. To serve him. To enjoy him. Yes, to enjoy him. We have distracted ourselves with all these idols, and we are tearing ourselves apart because of it. True peace, joy, and comfort are found in a good God who knows our hearts because he made them.
Once you understand just who God is and what he has done for you, you will not want to mess with these little boys any longer. You will not have to jump from relationship to relationship, because your identity will not be in someone else. It will be in Christ. And guess what? God never leaves. Ever. He has promised he will never leave nor forsake us. He is the perfect husband.
Jesus Christ is the son of God. Because humankind has continually run from God and sinned against him, we have been separated from him. In love, God gave his son to come to earth, live the perfect life we should've lived, die the death we deserved, and rise again on the third day. Your sins can be forgiven and your life can be transformed by this message, which is called the Gospel. God is the only one who can truly cherish our heart.
So how do we have a relationship once we are in Christ? Thankfully, God has told us! God created marriage for him (Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3). It is a reflection of Christ's love for his people. Husband and wife become "one flesh" in the Lord (Genesis 2:24), the same way that Jesus and his church are one flesh. God created sex, but he has told us that if we abuse it, we will end up getting hurt. It is for the marriage bed only. I once heard a sermon that said sex is like a fire. It needs to be contained. If not, it grows out of control and causes destruction.
I am happily married to a godly, Christian man for over four years. Although neither one of us are perfect, we don't have to be. We both love the Lord, understand what marriage and romantic relationships are about, and therefore, are not destroying each other. We build each other up, because we are led by a good God who wants good things for us. Christ is always with us and guiding us. I don't have to worry about Blake randomly leaving me, or about him having an affair, and vice versa. We are one flesh under God and since we are in Christ, no one can take us from his hand. We are his forever, and he is not only Lord of our lives individually, but Lord of our lives as a couple. Our son, Isaiah, knows that mommy and daddy love each other and will always be together. Children need this, and we need this. Ladies, I hear a lot of you say, "Where are the good guys?" Well, they are in Christ, that's where. As long as you keep looking for those who do not love God, they will not love you.
My hope and prayer for all of you is that you would repent of your sin, turn to Christ, and let him cherish you. He is the only one worthy of honor, praise, and glory. He is worthy of your time, your energy, your efforts, and your life. He is pursuing your heart. Let him cherish it.
We never foresaw ourselves in these situations. As little girls, we probably dreamed of finding that perfect guy, finding that beautiful wedding gown, walking down the aisle, and riding off into the sunset to begin our fairytale lifestyle. The desire of a woman's heart and longing is to be loved and cherished. We want our Prince Charmings! Our Ryan Goslings! We have fallen for a seemingly nice guy time after time, only to be left lonely, broken and confused--and perhaps with a child or two-- a short time later, left to pick up the pieces and move on.This is not what we envisioned for ourselves or for our children, but yet here we are. How do we know the next relationship is going to work out? Many of us have given up. Our self-esteem is shot, our hearts are hurting, and our children are feeling the effects as well. Many children are growing up without their fathers, and statistics have proven that this makes a child more likely to abuse drugs, drop out of school, and participate in self-destructive behavior.
We all look at Nicolas Sparks' "The Notebook" as the epitome of a romantic relationship. Noah and Allie were just meant for each other, it seems. I admit, I'm a sucker for a chick flick! But let's stop and analyze this for a second. Noah and Allie made several unwise decisions. Not only did they sleep together before they were married, but Noah has several sexual partners before being reunited with Allie. Once they do reunite a few years down the road, they almost immediately sleep together. Noah ends up hurting the girl he was most recently seeing, and Allie ends up cheating on her unknowing (and seemingly nice!) fiancee with Noah. Instead of having the decency to break it off with her fiancee first, she just goes and sleeps with her old boyfriend. What about the hurt that Allie and Noah caused to those two people? Not once do they seek God's will for their lives. Doesn't seem quite as romantic when looked at that way, huh?
Today's culture tells you that that is not only okay, but it is ideal. But it is that same type of behavior that destroys families. The media and todays' American culture tells you that you will find fulfillment in your romantic relationships. Sadly, this mindset is what has led to the outrageous divorce rate, heightened extramarital affairs, and sexual promiscuity. We are told that when we meet someone we like, we need to "try them on for size." We need to live with them first, give ourselves to them in bed, and if we find ourselves unhappy, then we are to leave. This message is taught to both men and women. When we are the ones deciding to leave a relationship, we feel liberated, free, and in control. But when we are the ones being left....it doesn't feel quite so good. We are hurt. Confused. Lonely. Broken. And off we go to search for the next temporary relationship to give us satisfaction. How do we stop this cycle? Will we ever find "the one"?
The answer, quite simply, is no. You will never find "the one" for whom your soul was made, because it is not for a boy. And it's not for a girl. You were made for God.
You will never find true acceptance, true love, or true self worth in any person--including even yourself--because you were made by God and for God.
" For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him." -Colossians 1:16
God made us all in his image, and has a purpose for our life. What is that purpose? To know him. To love him. To serve him. To enjoy him. Yes, to enjoy him. We have distracted ourselves with all these idols, and we are tearing ourselves apart because of it. True peace, joy, and comfort are found in a good God who knows our hearts because he made them.
Once you understand just who God is and what he has done for you, you will not want to mess with these little boys any longer. You will not have to jump from relationship to relationship, because your identity will not be in someone else. It will be in Christ. And guess what? God never leaves. Ever. He has promised he will never leave nor forsake us. He is the perfect husband.
Jesus Christ is the son of God. Because humankind has continually run from God and sinned against him, we have been separated from him. In love, God gave his son to come to earth, live the perfect life we should've lived, die the death we deserved, and rise again on the third day. Your sins can be forgiven and your life can be transformed by this message, which is called the Gospel. God is the only one who can truly cherish our heart.
So how do we have a relationship once we are in Christ? Thankfully, God has told us! God created marriage for him (Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3). It is a reflection of Christ's love for his people. Husband and wife become "one flesh" in the Lord (Genesis 2:24), the same way that Jesus and his church are one flesh. God created sex, but he has told us that if we abuse it, we will end up getting hurt. It is for the marriage bed only. I once heard a sermon that said sex is like a fire. It needs to be contained. If not, it grows out of control and causes destruction.
I am happily married to a godly, Christian man for over four years. Although neither one of us are perfect, we don't have to be. We both love the Lord, understand what marriage and romantic relationships are about, and therefore, are not destroying each other. We build each other up, because we are led by a good God who wants good things for us. Christ is always with us and guiding us. I don't have to worry about Blake randomly leaving me, or about him having an affair, and vice versa. We are one flesh under God and since we are in Christ, no one can take us from his hand. We are his forever, and he is not only Lord of our lives individually, but Lord of our lives as a couple. Our son, Isaiah, knows that mommy and daddy love each other and will always be together. Children need this, and we need this. Ladies, I hear a lot of you say, "Where are the good guys?" Well, they are in Christ, that's where. As long as you keep looking for those who do not love God, they will not love you.
My hope and prayer for all of you is that you would repent of your sin, turn to Christ, and let him cherish you. He is the only one worthy of honor, praise, and glory. He is worthy of your time, your energy, your efforts, and your life. He is pursuing your heart. Let him cherish it.
